crayolaxmonster: tayvengeance: 4rcticmonkey: Sometimes i talk in song lyrics and my friends don’t even notice sometimes I talk in Mean Girls quotes and no one notices Sometimes I talk and nobody notices
imadesigirl: therealhamster: do you ever just wanna do a backflip but realize you cant this is the most accurate post ive ever seen
isurvivedthekobayashimaru: I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.” And I think I actually scared him...
chocolatebirdie: vriskamindfangserket: I’ll never forget the time I went to a gay pride parade and on the way back home the train was so packed everyone was literally hugging each other and I said “I can’t take this, I’m just a small town girl” then my friend said “living in a lonely world” AND THEN THE ENTIRE FUCKING TRAIN CAR STARTED SINGING JOURNEY #and thats what you missed on glee
dentist: *scrapes gums with sharp metal instruments*
dentist: ur bleedin because u dont floss
fckinshitup: psilentasincjelli: viveslavida: elastic-bands: I just watched this whole thing. blew my mind. This is the most stressful thing I’ve watched on a screen since the results of the presidential election My brain, it hurts
indesperateneedofatimemachine: sexwithsquidward: “Same sex couples shouldn’t be able to adopt because their kids will get bullied for having two moms or two dads” hey instead of not allowing same sex couples to adopt maybe you should teach your little shitty kids not to bully
I wonder if I ever caught someones attention. Even if I was just walking among the crowd, I wonder if they wanted to get to know me or anything like that.
ostolero: smartblonde317: ostolero: becoming an adult is weird it’s like wow i can drive a car and set my own schedule wow i can go online and buy 50 dragon dildos wait what? did i stutter
Do a charisma check and remove your pants: As many... →
matthulksmash: zohbugg: Well let me tell you, it was quite the pragmatic purchase. It has endless uses in my morning routine. Such as making the bed: Making toast: Getting things off high shelves: Making coffee: Reaching the remote when it’s too far away:
Guys, I’m writing in Gallifreyan! This is so much fun and it looks so cool. I’ve written my boyfriends nickname, and one phrase. If there any anything someone wants written in Gallifreyan, please hit me up! This is so entertaining!
jaaaaaaaaaackfrost: have you ever caught someone staring at you and wondered what they’re thinking about like if it’s something positive or negative if it’s a passing thought or a long internal string of things if they’re even thinking about you at all or you just happen to be in the line of sight while their mind drifts off about something completely unrelated
carstairsangel: When not all the books in the series are the same height. When books change covers with editions so they don’t all match unless you buy the series in one go. When some books are hardcover and some are softcover and it doesn’t match but you can’t find another copy. When some covers are different in certain countries so you don’t get the main one which also happens to look...
ex-cuse-u: so when i came out and told my mom i was gay my mom said she loved me anyway and then we heard my sister yell from the other room “can someone answer the phone” and my mom goes “what its not ringing” and she yells back “BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT” and my mom yelled at her
apollinares: my boyfriend’s first language isn’t english and he asked me how to say cut in past tense and i said “cut” and he let out a wail of anguish and fell to the ground
Do a charisma check and remove your pants:... →
mattreadsthings: hair-old-styles: harrystyies: What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us? My science teacher said he thinks that’s true actually Plot twist: it is actually NITROGEN which is poisonous, as it makes up 70% of the air we breathe, only…
homosaurus-rex: homosaurus-rex: It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us. can we talk about how this is still getting notes
extreme makeover: home edition
girl: i kinda like horses
ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE
tyleroakley: mellarkish: I wonder what a worm looks like under a microscope! Nevermind. KILL IT WITH FIRE.